Bed Life and Beyond

So yesterday I had the Podiatrist come and she was here for 40 minutes while she checked my circulation and cut my toenails. The ultrasound took as long as the rest I think. I chatted with her while she was here, trying to make her feel comfy being here.

Today I can barely function because I used that extra energy yesterday. It’s hard to move my arms at all, even to get them to flop down, and it’s hard to talk or reach my motorised bed controls to sit myself up or lay myself down. My energy is really low.

My mother’s coming over today to take my daughter out. This takes a lot of extra energy of mine too, as my mother’s logistic skills are not good with her age. I’d cancel it if it didn’t mean so much to my daughter and my mother. But they like seeing each other.

I need to lay still and avoid talking with people today as much as I can. I can escape into phone games, they don’t take strength from me. I need to avoid sounds which overload me (including talking), and avoid explaining myself a lot. So that’s what I’ll be doing today, to try to recharge my batteries. If I do this well I’ll bounce back soon, I expect by tomorrow or the next day. If I do this badly it’ll take me longer to regain energy.

I really want to avoid not coping- crying over anything and everything. That will happen if I don’t take time out from now on and start regaining energy again. I don’t want my teenager to see me in that state. I want her to feel secure that she can at least emotionally and mentally depend on me, even if she can’t physically.

My support worker arrives in 40 minutes. I’ll be telling them straight away that I’ve got low energy and I can’t really talk today.

I’ve let this support worker’s boss know I need to replace her with someone who does the job better, so I hope she hasn’t heard that yet and doesn’t want to discuss it. Not today.

If all goes best-case-scenario, I’ll be doing better again tomorrow. 🤞