Bed Life and Beyond

Something that brings be great joy and comfort, and companionship when I’m very isolated living in bed, is having a pet.

My pet is a cat. She’s about 15 years old, and her name is Sasa Bear. She loves sleeping in my wheelchair or on my bed by my feet where she’s known to trap them in her claws if they encroach her space when she’s hungry or playful. Sasa loves chatting with me using little grunt noises.

She knows how I’m feeling and stays closer to me when I’m depressed or more paralysed. When my legs are working less and I say, “Shall we get up?” She stares straight at my legs first then looks at my face, like, are you kidding? She’s very intuitive.

Sasa has grown to love support workers coming here each day. We make sure every support worker gives her lots of attention. They pat her and brush her and play with a ribbon or wool with her. She loves it when they sit down with her. She has different routines with different people, liking to show some her cardboard boxes, and lay on the couch with others, and on the floor with others.

Growing up I had cats and because of the violence I lived in they often weren’t safe. So I panic if cats meow much now. This is why my support workers need to take time to care for Sasa, to make sure she doesn’t meow much. She rarely meows with just me.

Before I had support workers coming here it got very difficult for me to keep feeding my cats every day. Now my support workers help with that and it’s made a big difference.

I try to feed Sasa every time I’m up to go to the toilet, to get the two necessary jobs done while I’m out of bed. Then we go back to bed and she’s happy for a long time again.

Sasa lifts my mood, and helps ground me and let me know I’m not alone. Patting her is also a sensory activity , which is important for FND and rewiring our brains using neuroplasticity.

If I start to feel panicky like I think someone’s outside my home or in my home and they shouldn’t be, I look at my cat to see if she’s worried. If she’s ignoring everything I know it’s just me imagining things. If she’s got her ears straight up and she’s staring where I’m hearing noises I know it’s worth exploring further (and usually it’s an animal or a neighbour anyway). More than 99% of the time it’s nothing and she dozes through it and I can calm down again. This is so important to have as an external gauge.

One of my favourite things is how loud Sasa purrs. One of my support workers calls her Tractor. It’s the most soothing sound. I love falling asleep to that sound, it’s soothing like rain on the roof.

A lot of people have found comfort with cats or dogs or birds or fish etc as pets. They have so much love to give us if we care well for them and give them safety and gentleness.

Do you have a pet who helps you get through?

When I lose my last pet I quickly (as in the next day) go and find another rescue pet to start over with. Transferring the love helps me cope the best with my grief. I really need a pet to give my adoration to each day and care for and have as company. Usually when they’re young I get two or three cats to grow up together. Not all on the same day, but within a few years. I don’t introduce new cats to my elderly cats, I let elderly cats live out their lives in peace. That’s just my choice.

I’ve already planned when Sasa dies my daughter and I will choose a cat each. I need to know there’s more love and joy ahead or I wouldn’t cope with the losses.